Journey to Joseph (Long Version)

Even though this is the long version, it still does not encompass all the incredible ways God has revealed Himself to us through the path He has laid out for us to follow in adopting Joseph.

We find ourselves in the throws of our second adoption, an adoption that we would have never imagined undertaking. But, God had other plans for us. During the three year wait to adopt May Lee, our now two year old daughter from Southern China, God afforded me (Steve) the opportunity to meet a special five year old boy outside of Beijing, China. In July of 2007, one of my best friends, Jarrett Potts, offered me a free trip to China to work (really play) with children, in a foster home outside of Beijing for a few days. I really did not want to take this trip, using about every excuse I could find to not go with him. I was encouraged to take advantage of this opportunity from my wife, Lynley. Without this encouragement I probably would have never met our future son Joseph (Dang DaJian). God really used Lynley to make this happen, to open up my heart and motivate me to take an uncomfortable trip to the other side of the world. When I arrived in China, for the first time, I found myself wondering what I had gotten myself into. My friend Jarrett Potts who paid for my trip had to work in Beijing for the next three days and I was about to be picked up by a total stranger and driven to a small village 1 1/2 hours outside of Beijing. What would happen? Would I be safe? Would I make it there? What would I do once I got there? I was on my own. I felt this was a good time to pray for God’s mercy and protection, and believe me, I did!

Once I safely arrived at the foster home I found myself in a converted school full of special needs children, some with club feet, some with cleft lips, some disfigured, some with serious illnesses, some even terminal. Through God’s grace I was able to play with these kids, love on them and even fall in love with them. What an incredible impact these kids had on me. How could there be so many special children without homes, without forever families? How could I leave here without one of these kids, without doing something? After all God has richly blessed me, blessed my family, and we had so much to give. My perspective on life was forever changed, the things that were really important to me had lost their flavor. God, why did you have to take me out of my comfort zone? Why did you give me a heart for these children?

There were three older boys, in particular, that I really bonded with, one of those boys was named Dang DaJian, a five year old that thirsted for a father, a Baba (the Chinese word for daddy). DaJian was a joy for me to be around, a very loving boy. Little did I know that God had already ordained him to be my son. I was only there to play with the children, right? We were right in the middle of May Lee’s adoption; there is no more room in our family. We do not have the money, or the time for another child, right God? This boy was not even available for adoption, he did not even have paperwork to be adopted. So why would God give me such a heart for him? Why would He allow DaJian to call me Baba when I was with him, does he know something I don’t?

When I arrived back home I shared my experiences with Lynley; we stayed up all night talking about these children. I should have been worn out from the trip, but I was not, I was fired up to share everything with her, every moment. Little did I know that Lynley and Amy, Jarrett’s wife, had been praying for our trip and the impact that it would have on our families. They knew this trip was ordained by God but could not fully understand the significance yet. So, we found ourselves asking God should we change our plans to adopt an infant; should we pursue one of these older children? After prayer we felt God wanted us to stay on course for our infant adoption. After all, these boys weren’t even adoptable, they had no paperwork in China’s system to be adopted.

Months passed, and we finally received May Lee’s referral in February of 2008. We traveled to China in March and brought our beautiful second daughter, May Lee, home with us in April 2008. Over the next several months we were overwhelmed with illness and eating issues with May Lee, doctor’s visits, various medical tests and weight loss. Would this little baby girl ever eat? Would she thrive? We found ourselves on a very difficult road with her health, but God is good and He provided us with praying friends, great doctors, and incredible wisdom. He gave Lynley the perseverance to provide what our daughter needed to heal. May Lee is doing great now, eating, walking and even pooping on the potty! It was all worth it, it is worth it, she is such a blessing to our family! It hasn't been easy, but God has always provided what we needed when we needed it!

Through that summer of 2008, we had been feeling that there would be some big changes coming for us, but had not quite figured out what that was. Through all of this and the difficulties with May Lee's health, we could still not shake this little boy, DaJian (Joseph), from our minds, our thoughts, our prayers. We began to fast and pray how God would want us to be involved. We were praying that he would become adoptable, that he would have a father and a mother. We were slowly figuring out that God wanted us to be that father and mother, but how? I found myself praying one morning at my desk for God to let me know if we were to pursue this boy as our son. I dumbed the prayer down, for me. “God, should we adopt this boy?” After my prayer, I started up my computer and checked my e-mails for the day. I had ONE e-mail that day, which in itself is astonishing. The e-mail was from the adoption agency we used for May Lee’s adoption, Great Wall. The subject heading, which was in bold, read “Adopting Again?” Okay God, I got it! I went straight to Lynley and told her what had just happened, she started crying and told me that God had really been speaking to her that we should pursue this boy. But, what about Coleman and Graham? How would they receive this news, would we all be in unity to adopt another child? We decided to wait on telling them this revelation right away. We prayed, “God if you want us to adopt this boy DaJain(Joseph), please put our entire family in unison."

Later that day, I slipped in a question to Coleman, my 13 year old son, during a non-related conversation. “Would you be open to us adopting another child in our family?" His answered floored me. He replied, “Like Joseph? Yes.” Wow! God never ceases to amaze me, Coleman was on board. Graham, our 10 year old daughter was sick that day; she was feeling really bad. We couldn’t wait for her to get better, we had to ask, “Graham, would you be open to us adopting another child in our family?” She screamed, “Yes!” and jumped up and down in excitement. She was so excited when we told her that we wanted to adopt Joseph. Okay, God answered that prayer, we were in unison, but how was he going to make this happen? China does not let you choose your children, they choose them for you.

A few days later, Lynley and I were at a friend’s wedding in Franklin. After the ceremony we sat down to eat dinner at one of the guest tables. It was a table for eight and we knew one of the other couples at the table, the other two we had never met. We were going around the table sharing a little about ourselves, and when it came to Lynley’s and my turn we shared about May Lee’s adoption and that we had just decided to pursue this Chinese boy. The husband of the couple we knew interrupted me and asked, “Do you know who this man is sitting beside you?” I said, “No, I have no idea.” The man introduced himself and his wife to let us know he was the president of one of the leading agencies for Chinese special needs adoptions in Virginia. He asked Lynley and me what the name was of the boy that we wanted to adopt. When we answered, “Dang, DaJian (Joseph)” and that he was in a foster home outside of Beijing, then he replied, “I just saw him last week.” I thought, you have got to be kidding me? There is like 3 billion people over there, right? He was not kidding, God had brought us together to make this adoption happen. God is so good! The Monday, following the wedding, I called this new friend and asked if he could find out any information on Joseph. The next day he told us that he not only found paperwork on Joseph, but also would write a letter to the Chinese government (CCAA) on our behalf requesting that Joseph be matched to our family. Others had also been searching for information for months on Joseph, more specifically when the CCAA would allow him to be adopted, but they were unsuccessful.

Within two weeks the CCAA formally agreed to let our family pursue Joseph for adoption. What? This does not happen, right? God is so good! Okay, God now that we got that taken care of, there is one more little problem, how are we going to pay for this? We were still trying to pay for May Lee’s adoption. We prayed and fasted for the next few days for an answer from God. After prayer, we felt that He was calling us to sacrifice, so we started preparing our house for sale. We spent the next couple of weeks preparing our house, and being the frugal-minded person that I am, I decided to maximize our funds from the sale by going the “For Sale By Owner” route. When I finished up the work in the yard that Friday in October of 2008, getting it just right, I stuck the sign in the yard. I felt it was important to get the sign in the yard before we left town for the weekend. While I was inside checking my messages on my phone, a call came from my dad. When he asked me what I had been up to, I explained to him that we had just put our house up for sale. He was shocked and asked me why? I conveyed to him about the cost involved with the adoption of Joseph and that we needed to pull the equity out of our house to cover that cost, so we would not have to borrow money for the adoption. After my explanation, dad volunteered to pay for Joseph’s adoption. What? You have got to be kidding me! God provided Manna from heaven through my father and step-mother. What an incredible blessing! God is good! Lynley and I decided to take the for sale sign out of the yard and see how God was going to use this incredible blessing.

Later in the year we had to work on Joseph's rehabilitation and nurture plan. This plan is required by the Chinese government to show how you will care for a special needs child. During this process we were confronted with the possibilities of future surgeries and extreme medical costs that would arise from Joseph’s condition. We prayed and fasted again about the sale of our house, “God do you want us to sell this house, that we love, and have a smaller mortgage on another house to prepare for these medical costs?” God answered that prayer with a phone call from a realtor a few months later. She asked if we would be willing to show our house the next morning to a couple that she was representing from out of town. We agreed to show the house, and within 24 hours had an offer. What? Our house was not even on the market! There were 82 homes for sale in our neighborhood! And they want ours? God is good! We questioned how all this would happen, but God worked out every detail. He has put people in our lives, literally at our table and front door.

We only had a few weeks to find a house, big enough for six, with a much smaller price tag. Once again, God blessed us through a good friend. She told us about a neighbor that had just been put in a nursing home and her son wanted to sell her house quickly "as is" condition. Lynley and I met with this man to view the house. It had a great yard, was in a wonderful neighborhood, with loving Christian neighbors, and was at an unbeatable price. With a little TLC, or as Lynley would say, a lot of TLC, this is going to be a great house! God is so good!

We have been preparing a loving home for Joseph and all we lack is our travel approval to fly to China to bring him home to his forever family. Lynley, Coleman and I will be traveling to China, while Graham and May Lee stay with my Mom and Step-Father. My Mom has been an unbelievable blessing with the amount of time she has sacrificed to care for our family. We hope to travel this September, 2009 to China to finalize his adoption. We look forward to caring for him, loving him and watching him grow into a man. God only asked us to be obedient, He took care of the rest. Don’t miss out on the miracle of adoption, after all God adopted us as sons and daughters.